Yet another college story !

Setting:A typical messy boys hostel room.Time : 4 AM. Dramatis personae:A final year student,trying to clutch at the mosquito repellent just out of his reach amidst the pile of stuff on the table with one hand,and embarking on a vain attempt to shoo away the buzzing bastards with the other.Music playing in the background.For the character,this has been another day of getting up at noon,going through the placement drone,sharing expletives,disappointments and convictions with a bunchful of equally hyperactive colleagues,ending with a nite out.The character seems disappointed at having failed to bag yet another opportunity of a godforsaken job at some metro city with some kind of fat compensation.More so,he seems oddly confused.Till now,he never had to plan for things,He has no clue what he wants to do for a living.He had had a clue once.He long forgot all about it.Sometimes,he wants to revive that lost dream.However,somehow doing so requires a plunge that various elements in him sternly suggest to stay away from.The mosquito continues buzzing in his ear,and as he gears up for another shot at the repellent,he impulsively feels a connection with the poor insect and hmmmms along with it;idly wondering if the hmmmm is symantically viable and he has a shot of actually conversing with the mosquito.A Lynyrd Skynyrd song comes up,one of his favorites.The character whistles along initially,and then closes his eyes,and listens.

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.

Go take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Oh,won't you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Better be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.

The character gets up,finds the repellant and plugs it in.He then opens up blogger and posts the lyrics in the hope that he always remembers them,as a note.For somehow,within all the idealistic overtones,the song does seem to make sense.A lot of sense.

P.S: In case you have not yet laid your hands on Lynyrd Skynyrd,do.The song is "Simple Man".Also check out "Free bird","Tuesday's gone" and "Sweet home Alabama"-good lyrics, and awesome solos..Its a pity the original Skynyrd band is no more.Music is all the more poorer for this loss.

Funda Time !

( The following is an excerpt from my term paper in the humanities (Ethics and Society) course.Waiting for the mood to build up to write a new post is a tad too boring.Of course,some would argue that copy-pasting your project report as a blog is no less irksome,but humor me.Till the time I gear up for something more colorful,bite on some philosophical fundae.Bon voyage! )

Ethics of societal behaviour-an endo-existential investigation

We all grow up around people .From time immemorial ,man has chosen his evolutionary instincts to be in accordance with a collocation of people, a society to share common interests with, and be bound by the regulations of .It is no new-fangled concept, therefore, that man is indeed a social being. What is interesting, however, is observing the influence this “survival-in-a –society” necessity has on the actions and thoughts of a person. When some situation throws up a conflict between the inherent feelings and the social-bound expressions, it makes up for a fascinating analysis, made more so since it is something which engulfs us all in its domain. From prominent existential philosophers like Heidegger to some layman like your wife, each person tries to explore the relationship of an individual with his surroundings, and the repercussions thereof. It is that basic an attribute.

The analysis I intend to present here stems from my personal reflections of the discrepancy I have noticed in the behavior of people in different social groups, and in their personal space (or with people close to them).Indeed, such is the universality of this discrepancy that a majority of the investigations put forward in this paper have been framed keeping or imagining myself as the subject. It would do well to view this paper more as a work of psychoanalysis than a discussion. Having said that ,the topic raises certain very relevant ethical issues, which I do plan to take up in the course of this analysis.

It would be pertinent here to define and discuss Existentialism before we take up a full-fledged study of how surroundings interact with people viz-a-viz their behavioral aspects. Existentialism is a school of philosophy that tries to explore human “existence” and how he tries “to project meaning in a disinterested world of in-itselfs”. Søren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche, considered the forerunners of existentialism, focused on subjective human experiences rather than the objective Axioms that philosophers generally discussed. Later existentialists like Franz Kafka and Martin Buber followed the thought, laying stress on the individual and the circumstances around him. Existential philosophers generally believed that life is meaningless and empty, and that the character of the individual existence is to fill that empty canvas of life with the colors available to him-the primary motif the human existence strives to achieve is to make that empty life meaningful by their own specific needs, virtues and priorities. Early existentialist principles gave rise to intellectual thoughts such as existential nihilism, which denies life of any meaning, virtue or purpose, and moral nihilism, which asserts that there are no absolute moral values in this world which can be perfectly assessed on the basis of rationale and logic. As such, existentialists assert that a person is the master of his own creativity.This concept of individual freedom is central to existentialist thought. Existentialists maintain that the human existence must always be defined as the individual person combined with the concrete circumstances of his life.("Yo soy yo y mi circunstancia"-I am myself and my circumstances-José Ortega y Gasset,1914). Sartre likewise believed that human existence is not an abstract matter, but is always situated ("en situación").A person’s life and works are based solely upon how he views the world (essentially) outside him,a world whose meaning exists in the relative sense only,and through the interaction of our “being” with it.This idea was picked up and developed in great detail by Martin Heidegger(1889-1976),a renowned German philosopher considered by many as one of the most authentic authorities on existentialism.

The Calling-Wherever you will go

Decisions are tough.Decisions leave us contemplating.Straining for that ounce more.Decisions are not proprietary.They are just individual perspectives-fair or not,who knows.But the agony to solve the problem,is real.Decisions leave us empty-whether one is right or wrong.There are times such as this,when its neither.Wish someone or somewhere-a way is lighted up.Maybe,maybe not.If only I knew what to do-I'd do anything,I'd go anywhere.

So lately, I've been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

Decisions...leave us afraid of light.its too dark in here anyway.

The first drops this season

Parched ground.Dry,cracking walls.A glazing sun.And then a cool wind blows.And then the rains arrive.
Some moments are pure bliss.Those moments in which you forget everything and just run out and get drenched as if there is no tomorrow.

P.S. The pic is one I took in Kashmir.One of the things that make the place unforgettable is that it remains so pleasantly overcast all day long,with intermittent times when the valley is drenched with sunshine.Exactly as the weather now seems,as a cool breeze blows my hair across the open window.

Zen Story

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road.
A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend,
they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash,
unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her
in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

The second monk did not speak again until that night
when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer
could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females,"
he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," the first monk said.
"Are you still carrying her?"

Lions vs Men

It was the day we all had been waiting for.Everyone had witnessed the perfect build-up to one of the most prestigious titles in the football world,and the final had all the elements of a perfect and dramatic backdrop.Manchester United were taking on FC Barcelona.The likes of Ronaldo,Messi,Etto,Rooney,Henry,Xavi,Scholes were going to be on the same pitch.This was a gigantic clash,and there was no better venue than the stadio olympicio in the eternal city of Rome to decide the battle for king.
Let me lay out a little background for the newbies here.Europe is the heartthrob of world football,and in it are many leagues specific to a specific country.There is the English Premier League(EPL) in England,La Liga(Spanish Premiera) in Spain,Bundes Liga in Germany,the Serie-A of Italy and the dozens of Ligues in France among others.Each country has its own unique style of regarding the game.While English football boasts of frenzied fan-following,relatively rougher and more competitive gameplay,Spanish football is considered superior technically,especially in passing,and is a delight to watch for the critics.Each League boasts of stars,and there is a crowned champion after a gruelling months-long season.The UEFA Champions League is a competition among the top football clubs in Europe.The teams from different leagues play each other,and there is a champion-the best football club in Europe-and arguably,in the world.The UCL brings a crowning finale to the football season,and the clash of the titans is followed worldwide as one of the most watched sporting events.
The season this year had been all about the star-studded Barcelona.The team had impressed last year too,but elevated to show indomnitable finesse this year,riding on Lionel Messi's incredible talent,and displaying an awe-inspiring solidity in their gameplay.The 21-year old Messi was the newest sensation,hailed by Maradona himself as his rightful successor.Back in England,Manchester United were clinical as usual,staying on top of the EPL ratings with little discomfort,and outclassing other teams.Christiano Ronaldo was charismatic,and Sir Alex Fergusson watched.
Barca became the La-Liga champs,and there was a general buzz about them being the best european team currently.Their eyes rested on the Champions League now,determined to rub out the horrors of last years semifinal drubbing by Manchester United that stopped an equally amazing Barcelona run last season.If there was one team that could stand up tall to them again,it were the reigning champions-the Reds,Man-United,acknowledged by many as the best football club in the world,and by all as the most popular.Barca,on their crest,overran Chelsea in the semis to cruise into the final.United were'nt exactly in dream form this season,but still that team had enough mettle to top the EPL ratings and cruise into the UCL semifinal to clash against once arch-rivals Arsenal.Arsenal were'nt the same force now without Thierry Henry,Man-U's ardent devastator,who had lead his team single-handedly to victory many times-and United had little problems at Emirates,Arsenal's home ground to march into the finals with Ronaldo scoring two mesmerising goals.However.Henry,having moved to Barcelona last season,awaited them there,alongside the likes of Messi and Etto.The dream finale everone had wished for had been set up.Meanwhile,Man-U officially lifted the EPL cup once again.
The atmosphere in Rome on the eve of the match was nothing short of electric.It was the clash of the titans,a solid performer in Barca versus the charismatic legend of Man-U.Barca started the match as the critics' favourites,but United put all that to rest with some astonishing gameplay in the first 7-8 minutes,and as many as 5 attacks were made in that time in comparison to Barca's nil.
They say,however,that you cannot ignore form and consistency.Barca had both,and it was packed solid going into the final.Iniesta justified his craving to play the final despite his alleged injury,and created an opportunity for Etto in the 10th,and the Cameroon striker had no problems putting the ball out of Van Der Sar's reach.Barca had scored at their first opportunity.From then on,it was a different game altogether.United were trailing,and were curtailed.The passing elegance of Spanish football was showing,and United hardly ever got possession.Messi was here,there and everywhere.He ran through the famed Man-U defence with effortless ease.If it weren't for the usual brilliance of 37 year old Van Der Sar in nullifying many more attacks ,United could have been trailing beyond reach.The first half ended with Barcelona firmly in control.
Manchester United does not have the world's biggest fanbase without reason.The team has had amazing consistency,and their flair of coming back into lost encounters in legendary.United fans was hoping for a resurgence,and they weren't disappointed.The Red Devils took possession,and charged ceaselessly.However,the Bracelona defence which had come under a lot of flack,had things to prove tonight.The captain Puyol led from the front,and time after time,attack after attack broke down.There was a seriousness and class about the Barca of tonight.Ronaldo ran in,Rooney ran in,all in vain.Fergusson brought on Tevez in place of Anderson,hoping that the fiery Argentinian would lend even more teeth to the already brilliant forwards.Nothing happened.Time was running out,United were now trying desperate measures.Scholes came on in place of Giggs,Berbatov came in.However,if Barcelona were playing with conviction,it wasnt United's day either.Although they retrieved possession umpteen times,yet failed at the critical moments.Passes went haywire,scoring headshots missed,yellow cards given.The pressure was mounting.
And as if to symbolise it all,Messi happened.The striker had been on Man-U's toes all night,and finally got his chance.He converted a high pass into a headshot that zoomed through the air clearly past Van Der Sar's flying form and tucked comfortably into the top corner.Barca had scored again,thanks to the human wonder that was on his knees at that moment,eyes closed,facing the stars above the Roman sky.The goal took him to the highest scorer of the Champions League.It was an incredible shot from an incredible talent.And as if to counter it,Tevez charged in before Barca had stopped celebrating.It was a flash,a pass that could have turned around things,but it fell clear of a waiting Ronaldo.It was the night of reckoning:what Ronaldo had failed to do for United,Messi had done for Barca.
From then on,it was again Barca's show,intermittent with replays of the amazing Messi header,at which Barca fans cheered and cheered.United seemed clearly disspirited and outclassed,and when the ref blew the final whistle,there was a nothing more than a sigh at the United camps.They had lost a Champions League final for the first time,but as Sir Alex himself conceded in a post-match interview,they knew that they had been outplayed,by a clearly more disciplined team that had shown amazing gameplay the entire season.There were 3 English teams out of the final four yet England was quiet.while the Spanish newspapers screamed full font at their front pages."Tot Roma es un clam,Barça!Barça!Barça!"

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People nowadays are so busy taking others down,they have forgotten that the deal was to climb up themselves.

On third year,IITK..

And now the times are changing,
look at everything that's come and gone...

Keep looking back as the most eventful year at IITK draws to a close.From friends to academics,from matters at home to that of love,life chose extremes.Its no wonder why Sophomore time seems so juvenile now.The sheer baggage of the experiences in the last one year,I have seen myself being pushed to grow up and be wary of things rather abruptly.Gone are the days of thrills.Caution,calculative talks and keeping things to myself are newfound companions,and I don't know if I like it.This area is still not in my comfort zone,and a part of me wants to return back,only knowing that it is never gonna be possible.Life moves on.

The Cup

The Cup
-Swami Vivekananda

This is your cup -- the cup assigned
to you from the beginning.
Nay, My child, I know how much
of that dark drink is your own brew
Of fault and passion, ages long ago,
In the deep years of yesterday, I know.

This is your road -- a painful road and drear.
I made the stones that never give you rest.
I set your friend in pleasant ways and clear,
And he shall come like you, unto My breast.
But you, My child, must travel here.

This is your task. It has no joy nor grace,
But it is not meant for any other hand,
And in My universe hath measured place,
Take it. I do not bid you understand.
I bid you close your eyes to see My face.

6 years have passed since I read "The Cup" in one of my high school literature courses,and this poem still remains my favorite.

Savouring Taoism..with a personal flavour

Google,for all its brand value,does come up with some pretty fucked-up search results en route.Doing a google search on the pliability criterion of a metal today,I accidentally stumbled on to the ancient chinese philosophies of Taoism.Now,I had read about the Zen saints and Lao-Tzu in some Osho books of Dad,but had never been interested enough.Tinkering with the link however i was immediately hooked up,and an hour later when i finshed,I was glad.

"Dark have been my dreams of late"(I have been reading the Lord of the Rings,again!).Perhaps not so much pained,but yeah, i was pretty worked up on some issues that continued to haunt me in my societal behavior,day to day traits et al.Hostel life just seemed to accentuate this,when you suddenly feel alone and responsible for your acts,even after being surrounded by plenty of people and some very very special friends to lend in a hand now and then.Posts like this and this were written in moments like these,and it felt slightly ironical that the same situations found a more elegant expression in the words of an obscure Chinese saint of ages ago.

The Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu wrote the Tao Te Ching, or “Great Way,” more than 2,500 years ago.Browsing the 81 verses that constitute the Tao one cannot help but notice two things-the power of rationality behind them,and the beauty that lies in their simplicity.In the following lines I have tried to collect some verses which seemed to find a personal niche within.

Strength and flexibility.People often confuse pliability with weakness... and firmness with strength, when exactly the opposite is true. A dead, brittle, unbending tree is most likely to crack -- just as our firmest, most unbending beliefs are most likely to be flawed.When we are sure that we are right, we do not bother to consider the alternatives.It is not necessary that we always judge things correctly.Sometimes a pinch of perspective does help.Lao-tzu used plants as an analogy for this in the 76th verse of the Tao Te Ching: “All things, including the grass and trees, are soft and pliable in life, dry and brittle in death... A tree that cannot bend will crack in the wind.”

Leading by not leading. We invariably face resistance when we try to tell others what to do. Lao-tzu believed that the best leaders do not give orders at all. In the 17th verse of the Tao, he wrote, “With the greatest leader above them, people barely know one exists... The great leader speaks little... When all is finished, the people say, ‘We did it ourselves.’ ”Let others choose to do things the “right” way. Try saying, “I know that you know the right thing to do,” rather than lecturing those around you about the way things ought to be done. Chances are, people do know what to do. Show faith in their ability to make the right decisions, and they usually will make them. The ultimate goal of a leader is to make leadership unnecessary.

The nature of water.Lao-tzu says in the 78th verse of the Tao Te Ching, “Nothing in the world is softer and weaker than water. But for attacking the hard, the unyielding, nothing can surpass it.” When someone wrongs us or disappoints us, our initial response often is anger. Yet anger will only push this other person further away. Hang back when you’re about to show how hard you can be. Try using patience rather than attempting to take rigid control.

Inaction also works. Our natural inclination is to try to solve our problems and fight our adversaries. A calm response -- or even no response at all -- often is the better choice. Lao-tzu wrote in the 26th verse of the Tao Te Ching, “The still is the master of unrest. Realizing this, the successful person is poised and centered in the midst of all activities... To be restless is to lose one’s self-mastery.”Not every problem is solved instantaneously.Sometimes we must sit back, allow the cyclical nature of the world to occur, and trust that built into every problem is an end to the problem.It is surprising how remaining patient in the face of your greatest challenges,most often problems solve themselves. And even when they do not, a silent and steady observation is more likely than a panicked, impulsive reaction to lead you to the proper solution.

As I scribbled earlier,the sheer force of rationality and its impelling simplicity is what makes Taoism so much popular and relevant even in modern times.It is difficult to imagine that a country of such ruthless dictators gave the world something as sorted out as this many,many years ago.

Yo China!

A cup of life

It is so small a thing
To have enjoyed the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done...

-Matthew Arnold

A leap of faith

Life always has you looking for answers.There's this intrinsic impatience in us all- to get to know the answers to each of our doubts at once,to sort out life exactly the way we want it,to get to know and plan out how we want to spend it.In this race to the so called luxury of knowing everything firsthand,we never even notice how the present slips out right in front of us.Somewhere there is always this person who says,"Hey there!I'm living life as it comes.I do what seems right to me,and i have no regrets!"Wonderful words that have us wishfully thinking all our issues just melted away on the that we could also develop a likely attitude.I personally,have never been able to relate to that philosophy.There is just too much stuff going on in the mind,and even though being impulsive by nature,I always wanted to know the answers all at once.Recently this realization dawned though-a feeling of being more relaxed,more comfortable with your identity and,well,your life. I ,for one,had always been one of those impatient guys wanting to know the answers to all their problems,to analyse them to the hilt and demand how to tackle them-immediate solutions.Never did it strike me that to have no regrets,as the person around the corner claimed, meant that everything was hunky-dory,and that his life was sorted out by the almighty exactly as he wanted it to be.Nah!You then realise what that person was trying to tell you-that sometimes it is more important to let things be-they will be sorted out at their time-never earlier.Its one day when you stop the incessant hunting for all answers that you discover a newer picture that life tried to show you all along-appreciating the qualities of those close,and having faith in your ability.That day you realise that somehow enjoying the uncanniness of each passing moment is a great feeling in itself.And in the process you somehow naturally stumble upon a newer meaning of backing yourself up-a deeper and more silent confidence of knowing you always were able enough-no external words of motivation or scrutiny could possibly help you discover that.That day,life does seem sorted out.That day,you grow up.And a leap of faith does it all.

All you get from love is a love song

Like sailing on a sailing ship to nowhere
Love took over my heart like an ocean breeze
As seagulls fly I knew that I was losing
Love was washed away with the drifting tide
Oh it's a dirty old shame
When all you get from love is a love song
That's got you laying up nights
Just waiting for the music to start
It's such a dirty old shame
When you got to take the blame for a love song
Because the best love songs are written
With a broken heart
And now the tears in my eyes are ever blinding
The future that lies before me I cannot see
Although tomorrow I know the sun is rising
Lighting up the world for everyone, but not for me.

Bandeya Ho..

Baba Bulleh Shah (a Sufi saint-poet from the Punjab part of Pakistan) was coaxed by his relatives to leave his 'Mursheed' or guru whom he called 'Raiyaan' or 'Raaniya". His Guru, the famous saint Shah Inayat Qadri belonged to the 'Arain' or 'Raeen' caste, while Bulleh Shah belonged to the Syed caste (he was a direct descendant of the Prophet Muhammad). Bulleh Shah had to face the resentment and taunts of his family and other 'Syed' friends for accepting the spiritual guidance of a non-Syed. Bulleh Shah rejected his critics' false concept of inherent superiority and nobility of any caste through his poetry.
A particularly striking song Bandeya Ho of the Pakistani movie Khuda Ke Liye(In the name of God),takes the lyrics of a poem Bulleh Shah wrote as an answer to the society.He explains through this poem that whoever calls him 'Syed' will be punished in hell and who ever calls him 'Raaniya' will be showered with blessings...because for him his Guru is everything and his caste is now the same as his Guru's.
The poem talks of the equality of men,as well as imploring mankind for its preposterious attitude while taking the cover of religion and sanity.The lines,in Siraiki and Punjabi,roughly translated,follow thus:

Bulleh nu samjhawan aiyaan bhena te bharjhaiyaan
Manlay Bulleya sada kehna chad de palla raiyaan
Bulleh Shah's sisters and sisters-in-laws came to convince him. Bulleya, please do as we tell you and leave the Arain's (his guru’s) company.

Aal nabi ullad Nabi nu tu kyun leekaan laaiyaan
Jera sanu syed sadday dozakh milan sazaiyaan
(Bulleh Shah replies):
Why do you separate the Prophet's and Ali's decendants from the common people (why do you wedge a divide between the two)?
The one who calls me ‘Syed’ will go to hell, but the one who calls me ‘Arain’ will enjoy the comforts of heaven

Bandeya Ho Bandeya
Bandeya Ho
Bandeya Ho Bandeya
Bandeya Ho
Imploring mandkind...(Banda means man, while Bandeya refers to Mankind)

Raeen saain sabhan thaain rab diyaan be parwaiyaan
Sohniyaan pare hataiyaan te khoojiyaan lay gall laiyaan
Arain and masters are born at every place, God does not discriminate against anyone.
Beautiful people don't care for such differences, only the ugly ones do

Je tu loorain baag baharaan chaakar hoo ja raiyaan
Bulleh Shah di zaat ki puchni shakar ho razaiyaan
If you seek to the gardens of heaven, become a servant to the ‘Arains’. Why ask about the caste of Bulleh Shah? Instead be grateful in the God's will.

Bandya Ho Bandya
Bandya Ho...
Bandya Ho Bandya
Bandya Ho...

Another awesome Bulleh Shah poem Bulla Ki Jana was made into a song by one of my favourite artists,Rabbi Shergill in his debut album Rabbi.Watch it,the video is a beautiful one too.

Attitude,fortresses and a confused ME.

While "Attitude to life" might have a different and pragmatic meaning in the dictionary of a literary whiz or a philosopher,for a layman,"Attitude" reflects behaviour-social traits et all.I shall be using the A-word here in that context-apologies to all the literally "correct" people out there,for I am an imperfect-not necessarily weak- person, and I just want to dole out a recurring issue,that haunts me every time I get hurt.

Most people maintain a certain attitude,when engaged socially,By all means,this makes them feel and look more confident than they actually are .The behaviour involves projecting oneself as a confident and no-needy person,careful enough to say not a thing which could give the upper hand to the person in front,or make him ridicule you.Again,this involves a lot of mind games at the subconscious level and verbal duels.

The answer i've asked myself again and again is,is it necessary to show this attitude to the ones you say you love too?

The answer,as I have seen from personal experience,is painfully,Yes.Otherwise,you will end up getting hurt,lots and lots of times.Let us summarise the philosophy of most people around me,in slightly less diplomatic terms:

Whether it be close friends,your lover,or anyone else,never lose your dignity.Dignity actually is an overhyped word which,in the urban vocabulary has gained a meaning much more than its dictionarial counterpart,in today's life maintaining your dignity means not changing your principles of living life or your behavioural or social overtones-even if they are wrong.You got to be difficult when someone tries discussing your problems.You got to have the upper hand in friendly jokes,at any costs,even by crassness or loudness.You got to do certain things,probably not because you like them,but because they will make you look more in control of your life.

Why this insecurity?Why not just be comfortable with who you are,and not bothering to be the upper hand or in-control person for once?If you are that good,it surely doesn't matter.Why this apathy to doing some things,or accepting some faults of yours,just because some other person suggested them and not you yourself?Even you don't believe in you,100%.Nobody does,and everybody knows at some point of time that this was a thing he/she screwed up.Yet,denial of that very fact for the fear of accepting weak,projecting yourself in-the-face as stronger and smarter than you know you are,this fake attitude,is one of the most irritating things i have come across.

But then again,i have been contemplating these things for the past several years now.With the exception of certain rare people i have been lucky enough to find,and in rare times,the way of the world doesn't change.Good or bad,Attitude helps.It is your fortress.


"....aayi aisi raat hai jo,bahut khushnaseeb hai
chahe jise door se duniya,vo mere kareeb hai
kitna kuch kehna hai fir bhi hai dil me sawal yahi
sapno me jo roz kaha hai vo fir se kahu ya nahi...."


Los' Rebels

This post is dedicated to those guys who don't let me feel that i'm an only child,who have
been more than brothers to me and who have truly changed my life.
Enough of the introductions,here's unleashing Los' Rebels for you:

Alawa:Simple guy next door.First impression on me was just that.My department mate,he came close to us through Alokee.Discover Alawa through hindi songs..the guy has a fan-fuck-tastic database.Truly carries a lot of expectations on his shoulders,and this has made Alawa grow up and mature more than he is willing to show,beneath the surface-flashes of that are seen occasionally.Senti n proper guy,his love life refelects his
traits.Proper,filmy and cute.

Alokee:The guy no one can have problems with.The con side is that he himself has a lot of problems with himself.Definition of friendliness,Alokee is the person who is never gonna refuse a friend for anything.This however,as will most of others agree,lands him in sticky
situations.Sex-obsessed,Bhagwan ki statues ko salaam karne vala,that's alokee for you.

Ashwani:If Alokee was friendliness personified.Ashwani is "kaminapan" personified.Thats how we pull his leg though.Peek inside the dude n you will find a down-to-earth,caring and intelligent dude.So down to earth that he farts loudly in front of all friends without a care in the world,and the subsequent relaxation shows.Ashwani has seen phases in friendships here at IITK,he was probably my first friend on campus,then drifted off ,had lots of acquaintances,but finally came back home over vodka pegs, and we are proud of this miserly slyster.Another aero dude.

Beti:This guy is an enigma.Trust me on that one.Daredevil-no doubt,Intello-koi shak nahi,but morals-umm..what's that like?Beti has got no limits(at least not in the life we are living at IITK).He has successfully found a new reason not to study every single semester-the latest being his newly-hatched cuddly love life.The entertainer of Los'Rebels,he is sorely missed when he runs back to Gwalior (heard of that place na? :P)
Personally,the best thing i like about him is his totally undiplomatic nature when with
buddies.The guy doesn't believe in hiding stuff,n his life is truly a roller-coaster ride!

Chuniya:Apologies to chuniya.I'm going public here about him-a thing he hates.Shy,silent n image-conscious when with outsiders,chuniya is difficult to discover and notice-if it weren't for his hunky looks.So much so that we actually feel proud that we "know" chuniya inside-out for a fact.And boy-oh-boy,once you get to know him you feel sort of blessed.This guy can go to any limits to help out his friends.Voracious smoker,obsessed with chicks and no barrings once he considers you his friends.Unique in his own way-an integral member of Los' Rebels.

Gankit:Ok,so here we have, a guy i can say i know inside-out.My ex-roomie(the only good act the IITK governance ever did),this is a guy i can relate to,n pour my heart out,with the trust that he is intelligent enough to understand and react to it the way i need.We jokingly call him the "maa" of our group-he cares enough to actually irritate you.One of
the few rational souls of our gang,Mr.Ankit Gupta likes-n loves-to spend quality time n money with friends.Trust me-the guy just rolled up a 5000 bucks treat at Landmark for us.Case in point here-the two most fashion-obsessed guys in our gang are Beti n Ankit,and in stark contrast.While Beti goes for flashy goodies,Ankit likes simplicity better.Probably this sums up their different takes on life-and the diversity of our gang. Truly,Madly n Deeply in love, yet with a different attitude-that,like Alawa,symbolises up how life goes for our Ankit!

Last,but i hope not the least,there is me.But I can't really do a cameo on me now,can I?This space remains reserved for the people who know me best-my(as Iron Maiden puts it) blood brothers!Comments are solicited folks.

And since its friends we are talking about,let me take this opportunity to dish out the names of some of the other best buddies-they are not "officially" in the gang,but are definately no less-be it in importance or trying out kick-ass-stuff.Prashant,Sudip,Hooda,Utkarsh,Farooq,Pratik,Nagwani,Sai,Pandey,Kali, the
campus and Ujjwal,Amber,Rishi,Vishal,Ravi outside.Life rocks when they are around.

I am so gonna miss you guys after here.But then,being a part of this bond,the things we
have done,the limits we have stretched- is something I will be proud to tell my grandchildren.

*********************Dedicated to my friends-to LOS' REBELS!*******************

This new year...

I know somewhere there's a party going on
Interesting peoples' conversation to be found
I've lived in cities where there is no solitude
made some friends there that i wish i never lose
but for now,i want to stay in this quiet town.