It was past 4 in the night,and this guy had had no sleep for almost two days straight now.As he lay passive,almost dead-still,amidst the smoke that surrounded him in a comfortable haze while threatening to strangle him some day,reflecting on the more trivial aspects that life continued to dish out for him with almost uncanny punctuality,along came
a most naked song,by the world's most loved rock band,at the most opportune moment.
The lines go thus:

You think you’ve got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight
All the time
You and I, that’s alright
We're the same soul

I don't need
I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You would like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

This is it

I know that we don't talk
I am sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing?
You are the reason I sing
You're the reason
Why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
Still got to let you know
A house doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do
Is to fake it

Sometimes you can't make it on your own.

(Sometimes you can't make it on your own,by U2)

The high ride to Independence-and Freedom

It is true that cynicism does not help much,but is the single independence to rule our own roost worth celebrating at all when all around we see a society full of prejudices and chauvinism? Independence does not characterize India-we Indians do.If at all there is a more realistic concept of independence-its at the individual level.If at all the phenomenon called freedom exists,it exists at the personal level-and at the risk of being branded another worthless cynic,i think there are but a few of us who can assure their conscience of their objectiveness in opinions.There are but a few of us who are independent of their mindset,their nepotism,their chauvinism,even to some extent, in daily matters.The problem is essentially universal,and,even if i'm on a high,right now i strongly doubt the very worthiness of the word freedom.The concept might have various sensible implications,agreed,but right now the foundation seems to be a big utter void.I again affirm that this outburst has nothing to do with India-it is something which touches some straits of our persona across borders and against upbringing.And if this really is the case, is it not time we changed our perceptions,bit by bit?

How I would have loved to shread this post,bit by bit,no less...but would rather conclude as the great man himself did .Whether he shared my cynicism or not in the following lines is your take-

"...into that heaven of freedom,my Father,let my country awake..."


misty skies

love watching up at the misty skies
as the drops fall n soak me
feels like your embrace
and that i can be myself again

this one i found while browsing the net today:

The rain drops seem so pure
in a world largely fake
the ambience intoxicating
water seeping through clothes soaked the soul
but still the feeling of being lonely surmounted me,
gradually taking over my desires, dreams n rationality,
i wish i could get out of it ...
eyes were blurred, legs got heavier,
i heard screams "come back" and whispers "i'll come along",
yet couldn't gather enough courage to look back and beileve in u, again
i lingered on endlessly through the darkness hoping for an out stretched arm
holding my palm tightly with eyes reflecting a silent promise,
lets get drenched together in this rain n forever....

there were no tears...those were raindrops that ran down my face.

did you know they had a US coupling?

exempli gratia :-

some things are better left as the it most of the remixes that come bundled in with the popular songs in the same movie,or the UK Coupling!
btw,how come we never hear of the UK Friends or British Seinfield??
Of course,we Indians are gracious enough not to even acknowledge the original when we rip a show off it.i mean,why offend anyone,right?

p.s : the above post just goes to show a fellow can write about any and every single bit of nonsensical reflection that wanders to his mind when he has not slept for two days straight..hehe..adieu world..ah! my dear (bed),here i come!

sweet dreams folks(that do not involve scenes from the US coupling 'course)!

summers cool this season!

long time since i returned to my favourite haunt..despite the meaningless summers .. lol
coupling rocks..despite the thin line of fire-the man-woman relationship, it sets out to explore,there's a very fine balance between puns and generalisations..the show is indeed drafted superbly!

back with more later.

not any more Mr.Thackrey !

Mr.Bal Thackrey,the leader of the Shiv Sena,vented his feelings once again for the maratha spirit.more of this shit here.

It is indeed pathetic and disgusting to hear such mindless nonsense from the people who are supposed to run the country on behalf of its masses. does Bal Thackrey have the power to hold his great maratha flag high if his state stops feeding on the funds and general development plan of the Indian Government?is Maharashtra so self-dependent?if not,what right does it have to be so self-obsessed?Maharashta,as it is,generates much more media hype than it truly deserves due to the hindi film industry and Mumbai being the financial is true that Bihar and UP are not so developed,but can Thackrey claim that his state's development is solely due to the native maharshtrians?or can Delhites claim that they developed their zone on their own?if yes,maybe they have the right to vent their dissatisfaction on the "spoiling" of their native soil.but as we all know,that is far from true.if the Biharis and UP "crass" people sweated it out to make mumbai and delhi the shining spectacles they are today(and probably they have more a contribution in this than the natives themselves),they have every right to settle there and enjoy the fruits of their labour.Developed centres are the way the modern world operates.Sovereignity is the founding pillar on which a certain country called India is based on,which,if Thackrey and a bunchful of"elite" Mumbaikars and Delhiites realise,gives Maharashtra,Delhi and Mumbai its identity.and wait,has someone read about a certain time some thousand years back when Patliputra,out there in the east, used to be the centre of all trade,learning and aristocracy?didnt people from all over the country used to flock over there then?hell,even foreigners paid regular visits.Tell me Mr.Thackrey,is it any different for Mumbai today than it was for Magadh at that time in those socio-political conditions?Or better to leave it,it is too much to ask of your mental maturity.all this started with Modi giving slogans of "Mera Gujarat" and other stuff.What bigger shame if the sons of this very country start giving wind to such blatant nonsense and not even realise their crassness! Regionalism can be used as a two-edged sword-it can be used to instigate one's passion for development,or it can used to spread kiddish fist-fights like these.The second ,if it continues this way undeterred,will lead us to a situation with the Chinese,Pakistanis and other competitors having the last laugh.The people need to be more aware of such people before repeatedly electing them as their representatives.It is indeed a shame.

aim to fly

let me just start by presenting to you,what seems like one of the finest video clips on Youtube:

science has shown us,time and again,that notions mean nothing.anything and everything is possible in this if you want to fly,just go ahead and work on it.

attentuated reality-another interpretation

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned.
(taken from the poem Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope)

All of us are struggling with commitments.peers,moralities,ambitions.can we ever really understand the peace a new born child experiences?a virgin nun(vestal) has nothing to prove to anybody.her attire is white,with no spots.she chooses to salvage her ties with the world,and the world forgets her just as easily-because she has nothing left to give and take.she is useless to this society,she has no responsibilities,no expectations.the mind free of all expectations and commitments shall dwell in a world where there is ceaseless peace(sunshine,happiness).for such a mind shall submit each of its whims to itself,with no role played by any particular situation in the realisation of its wishes.such a mind will never have to worry about those wishes coming true either,because after submitting all those wishes,it will return back to its state of "eternal sunshine".

historically,the poem talks of Heloise(1101-64)an eighteen -year old beautiful and intelligent girl
,who fell in love with Abelard(1079-1142),a master scholar who was her teacher.the two had an affair while Abelard was staying at Heloise's uncle's place,and Heloise became pregnant.Abelard married her,but on a vow of secrecy,since he was bound to celibacy if he was to advance in the Church. Heloise's uncle Fulbert,however,was was not satisfied with this arrangement, and the relationship between the two men deteriorated to such an extent that Fulbert hired two ruffians, one of whom was Abelard's own servant, who broke into his bedroom one night and castrated him.
After that Abelard became a monk and forced Heloise to become a nun too,to repent for their sins. Initially he resided at the prestigious abbey of St Denis just outside of Paris, but following a series of confrontations with his superiors he left and established a small oratory which he named the Paraclete near Troyes. His former students soon discovered him there and encouraged him to keep teaching. They convinced him to drop his desires for a hermit's life, but before he left the Paraclete he brought Heloise there as an abbess of the nuns. Twelve years later Abelard's letter to his friend Plilintus provoked seven letters between Heloise and Abelard which re-evoked their past affections for each other. Three of the most ardent ones came from Heloise. Five hundred years later these letters were translated from latin to French and became popular during the latter part of seventeenth century France. By 1713 a famous scholar named John Hughes had translated and published the French version in England. Hughes was a friend of Pope's at the time and it was these translations that Pope based Eloisa to Abelard on.
Abelard and Heloise embody what one critic described as "sorrowing or rebellious love." Taking Heloise's three letters Pope recast them as a single epistle and changed the heroine's name to Eloisa.

The part of the poem above, from where the title of the movie" eternal sunshine of the spotless mind " is taken, are Heloise's ironic reflections on her life as a nun,and her fading memories.Throughout the poem she expresses a deep conflict between her love for Abelard and her devotion to God. The fact that both are painfully absent in her life magnifies the solitude of her life as a nun.
this is the thought that leads us to dwell on the counter-view,namely,does absence from every worldly commitment ensure happiness?it is a fact that a vestal's lot is indeed blameless,but does that ensure that the mind of hers resides in an "eternal sunshine"?the movie touches on all these very subtly,offering answers to some,and leaving the majority to be decided,or rather
felt,by us.Indeed ,the answers are highly subjective,and part of the superbness of the movie lies in acknowledging this fact.

none left to be

this crappy feeling is not new..i am not the same person i was once..whatever's left is a carcass of a selfish and hypocrytic loser.
pink floyd or cobain dont help this time..i am not comfortably numb..hugely irritated of myself..taking others for granted..i wish i were dead.

Where the f*ck have we landed!

the news piece of shit here says it all:
arguably the toughest grading system among the seven,and surely the most demanding academic expectations...and to put the ch'erie on the ice,profs ready to rip off your neck if they could...and they even dont want to change!

we're in the land of oz mate.

Survivor - Eye of the Tiger - Rocky IV

Rising up
back on the street
did my time,took my chances
went the distance
now i'm back on my feet
just a man,and and his will to survive..

So many times
it happens too fast
you trade your passion for glory
don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
you must fight just to keep them alive..

It's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge of our rival
and the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night

and he's watching us all with the eye
of the tiger

Face to face
out in the heat
hangin' tough
stayin' hungry
they stack the odds
still we take to the street
for the kill with the will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge of our rival
and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
and he's watchin us all with the eye...

one of the most inspiring tracks ever...


this is my first post in a long time-the first this year.the posts have essentially been rare,and i guess i have always been to blogger in a state of emotional outburst,when i've got no one to talk to...and its a typical process at that-first music ,then the terrace, n then trying to sleep...its a predictable scene if i throw over my blanket at this point of time and drag my chair in front of my laptop, and yours truly has a new (usually pathetic ?) story to tell.
the last couple of weeks have been magnanimous-lots has happened-i guess i absorbed it all quite decently -maybe due to the fact that i was already mentally worn out to the point of exaustion-almost as if you keep on slapping a person in a state of trance he will probably feel sorry for some other guy he thinks is being slapped so ruthlessly-its only when he awakens the next day does the pain start registering-almost a good thing i suppose,except for the one swollen cheek.
its only when i've consciously begun to heed my actions nowadays that i feel more lost-and more terrible academic performance this semester,papa being diaganosed with diabetes,the shooting up of my eyepower-almost to an alarming level-and on top of that the guilt that papa waited almost a year before getting his eyes checked-just because he wanted it done with me.the ignorance,despite the problems he was having maybe led him to the disease he dreaded the most.he took it in quite good spirit though,and in those couple of days i too was too busy with the various tests and formalities to really feel what was going on,but now, settling down in regular life over here,the facts have begun to register more brutally now-and have essentialy left me with a big void i just can seem to analyse or get over least the last week here has been robotic for me -regular classes,friendly banter,regular mess food and sleeping early-everything the proper way.yet a feeling of aloofness constantly is there,as if im in a state of trance-i almost believe still now,writing this post,that i am describing the feelings of some other guy far if all this is happening to some other person i am connected with,but,thankfully,not to me.

And i feel very insecure when this trance breaks momentarily sometimes.very very insecure indeed.