Attitude,fortresses and a confused ME.

While "Attitude to life" might have a different and pragmatic meaning in the dictionary of a literary whiz or a philosopher,for a layman,"Attitude" reflects behaviour-social traits et all.I shall be using the A-word here in that context-apologies to all the literally "correct" people out there,for I am an imperfect-not necessarily weak- person, and I just want to dole out a recurring issue,that haunts me every time I get hurt.

Most people maintain a certain attitude,when engaged socially,By all means,this makes them feel and look more confident than they actually are .The behaviour involves projecting oneself as a confident and no-needy person,careful enough to say not a thing which could give the upper hand to the person in front,or make him ridicule you.Again,this involves a lot of mind games at the subconscious level and verbal duels.

The answer i've asked myself again and again is,is it necessary to show this attitude to the ones you say you love too?

The answer,as I have seen from personal experience,is painfully,Yes.Otherwise,you will end up getting hurt,lots and lots of times.Let us summarise the philosophy of most people around me,in slightly less diplomatic terms:

Whether it be close friends,your lover,or anyone else,never lose your dignity.Dignity actually is an overhyped word which,in the urban vocabulary has gained a meaning much more than its dictionarial counterpart,in today's life maintaining your dignity means not changing your principles of living life or your behavioural or social overtones-even if they are wrong.You got to be difficult when someone tries discussing your problems.You got to have the upper hand in friendly jokes,at any costs,even by crassness or loudness.You got to do certain things,probably not because you like them,but because they will make you look more in control of your life.

Why this insecurity?Why not just be comfortable with who you are,and not bothering to be the upper hand or in-control person for once?If you are that good,it surely doesn't matter.Why this apathy to doing some things,or accepting some faults of yours,just because some other person suggested them and not you yourself?Even you don't believe in you,100%.Nobody does,and everybody knows at some point of time that this was a thing he/she screwed up.Yet,denial of that very fact for the fear of accepting weak,projecting yourself in-the-face as stronger and smarter than you know you are,this fake attitude,is one of the most irritating things i have come across.

But then again,i have been contemplating these things for the past several years now.With the exception of certain rare people i have been lucky enough to find,and in rare times,the way of the world doesn't change.Good or bad,Attitude helps.It is your fortress.


"....aayi aisi raat hai jo,bahut khushnaseeb hai
chahe jise door se duniya,vo mere kareeb hai
kitna kuch kehna hai fir bhi hai dil me sawal yahi
sapno me jo roz kaha hai vo fir se kahu ya nahi...."


Los' Rebels

This post is dedicated to those guys who don't let me feel that i'm an only child,who have
been more than brothers to me and who have truly changed my life.
Enough of the introductions,here's unleashing Los' Rebels for you:

Alawa:Simple guy next door.First impression on me was just that.My department mate,he came close to us through Alokee.Discover Alawa through hindi songs..the guy has a fan-fuck-tastic database.Truly carries a lot of expectations on his shoulders,and this has made Alawa grow up and mature more than he is willing to show,beneath the surface-flashes of that are seen occasionally.Senti n proper guy,his love life refelects his
traits.Proper,filmy and cute.

Alokee:The guy no one can have problems with.The con side is that he himself has a lot of problems with himself.Definition of friendliness,Alokee is the person who is never gonna refuse a friend for anything.This however,as will most of others agree,lands him in sticky
situations.Sex-obsessed,Bhagwan ki statues ko salaam karne vala,that's alokee for you.

Ashwani:If Alokee was friendliness personified.Ashwani is "kaminapan" personified.Thats how we pull his leg though.Peek inside the dude n you will find a down-to-earth,caring and intelligent dude.So down to earth that he farts loudly in front of all friends without a care in the world,and the subsequent relaxation shows.Ashwani has seen phases in friendships here at IITK,he was probably my first friend on campus,then drifted off ,had lots of acquaintances,but finally came back home over vodka pegs, and we are proud of this miserly slyster.Another aero dude.

Beti:This guy is an enigma.Trust me on that one.Daredevil-no doubt,Intello-koi shak nahi,but morals-umm..what's that like?Beti has got no limits(at least not in the life we are living at IITK).He has successfully found a new reason not to study every single semester-the latest being his newly-hatched cuddly love life.The entertainer of Los'Rebels,he is sorely missed when he runs back to Gwalior (heard of that place na? :P)
Personally,the best thing i like about him is his totally undiplomatic nature when with
buddies.The guy doesn't believe in hiding stuff,n his life is truly a roller-coaster ride!

Chuniya:Apologies to chuniya.I'm going public here about him-a thing he hates.Shy,silent n image-conscious when with outsiders,chuniya is difficult to discover and notice-if it weren't for his hunky looks.So much so that we actually feel proud that we "know" chuniya inside-out for a fact.And boy-oh-boy,once you get to know him you feel sort of blessed.This guy can go to any limits to help out his friends.Voracious smoker,obsessed with chicks and no barrings once he considers you his friends.Unique in his own way-an integral member of Los' Rebels.

Gankit:Ok,so here we have, a guy i can say i know inside-out.My ex-roomie(the only good act the IITK governance ever did),this is a guy i can relate to,n pour my heart out,with the trust that he is intelligent enough to understand and react to it the way i need.We jokingly call him the "maa" of our group-he cares enough to actually irritate you.One of
the few rational souls of our gang,Mr.Ankit Gupta likes-n loves-to spend quality time n money with friends.Trust me-the guy just rolled up a 5000 bucks treat at Landmark for us.Case in point here-the two most fashion-obsessed guys in our gang are Beti n Ankit,and in stark contrast.While Beti goes for flashy goodies,Ankit likes simplicity better.Probably this sums up their different takes on life-and the diversity of our gang. Truly,Madly n Deeply in love, yet with a different attitude-that,like Alawa,symbolises up how life goes for our Ankit!

Last,but i hope not the least,there is me.But I can't really do a cameo on me now,can I?This space remains reserved for the people who know me best-my(as Iron Maiden puts it) blood brothers!Comments are solicited folks.

And since its friends we are talking about,let me take this opportunity to dish out the names of some of the other best buddies-they are not "officially" in the gang,but are definately no less-be it in importance or trying out kick-ass-stuff.Prashant,Sudip,Hooda,Utkarsh,Farooq,Pratik,Nagwani,Sai,Pandey,Kali, the
campus and Ujjwal,Amber,Rishi,Vishal,Ravi outside.Life rocks when they are around.

I am so gonna miss you guys after here.But then,being a part of this bond,the things we
have done,the limits we have stretched- is something I will be proud to tell my grandchildren.

*********************Dedicated to my friends-to LOS' REBELS!*******************

This new year...

I know somewhere there's a party going on
Interesting peoples' conversation to be found
I've lived in cities where there is no solitude
made some friends there that i wish i never lose
but for now,i want to stay in this quiet town.