Where the f*ck have we landed!

the news piece of shit here says it all:
arguably the toughest grading system among the seven,and surely the most demanding academic expectations...and to put the ch'erie on the ice,profs ready to rip off your neck if they could...and they even dont want to change!

we're in the land of oz mate.

Survivor - Eye of the Tiger - Rocky IV

Rising up
back on the street
did my time,took my chances
went the distance
now i'm back on my feet
just a man,and and his will to survive..

So many times
it happens too fast
you trade your passion for glory
don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
you must fight just to keep them alive..

It's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge of our rival
and the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night

and he's watching us all with the eye
of the tiger

Face to face
out in the heat
hangin' tough
stayin' hungry
they stack the odds
still we take to the street
for the kill with the will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge of our rival
and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
and he's watchin us all with the eye...

one of the most inspiring tracks ever...


this is my first post in a long time-the first this year.the posts have essentially been rare,and i guess i have always been to blogger in a state of emotional outburst,when i've got no one to talk to...and its a typical process at that-first music ,then the terrace, n then trying to sleep...its a predictable scene if i throw over my blanket at this point of time and drag my chair in front of my laptop, and yours truly has a new (usually pathetic ?) story to tell.
the last couple of weeks have been magnanimous-lots has happened-i guess i absorbed it all quite decently -maybe due to the fact that i was already mentally worn out to the point of exaustion-almost as if you keep on slapping a person in a state of trance he will probably feel sorry for some other guy he thinks is being slapped so ruthlessly-its only when he awakens the next day does the pain start registering-almost a good thing i suppose,except for the one swollen cheek.
its only when i've consciously begun to heed my actions nowadays that i feel more lost-and more vulnerable.my terrible academic performance this semester,papa being diaganosed with diabetes,the shooting up of my eyepower-almost to an alarming level-and on top of that the guilt that papa waited almost a year before getting his eyes checked-just because he wanted it done with me.the ignorance,despite the problems he was having maybe led him to the disease he dreaded the most.he took it in quite good spirit though,and in those couple of days i too was too busy with the various tests and formalities to really feel what was going on,but now, settling down in regular life over here,the facts have begun to register more brutally now-and have essentialy left me with a big void i just can seem to analyse or get over with.at least the last week here has been robotic for me -regular classes,friendly banter,regular mess food and sleeping early-everything the proper way.yet a feeling of aloofness constantly is there,as if im in a state of trance-i almost believe still now,writing this post,that i am describing the feelings of some other guy far away...as if all this is happening to some other person i am connected with,but,thankfully,not to me.

And i feel very insecure when this trance breaks momentarily sometimes.very very insecure indeed.