Attitude,fortresses and a confused ME.

While "Attitude to life" might have a different and pragmatic meaning in the dictionary of a literary whiz or a philosopher,for a layman,"Attitude" reflects behaviour-social traits et all.I shall be using the A-word here in that context-apologies to all the literally "correct" people out there,for I am an imperfect-not necessarily weak- person, and I just want to dole out a recurring issue,that haunts me every time I get hurt.

Most people maintain a certain attitude,when engaged socially,By all means,this makes them feel and look more confident than they actually are .The behaviour involves projecting oneself as a confident and no-needy person,careful enough to say not a thing which could give the upper hand to the person in front,or make him ridicule you.Again,this involves a lot of mind games at the subconscious level and verbal duels.

The answer i've asked myself again and again is,is it necessary to show this attitude to the ones you say you love too?

The answer,as I have seen from personal experience,is painfully,Yes.Otherwise,you will end up getting hurt,lots and lots of times.Let us summarise the philosophy of most people around me,in slightly less diplomatic terms:

Whether it be close friends,your lover,or anyone else,never lose your dignity.Dignity actually is an overhyped word which,in the urban vocabulary has gained a meaning much more than its dictionarial counterpart,in today's life maintaining your dignity means not changing your principles of living life or your behavioural or social overtones-even if they are wrong.You got to be difficult when someone tries discussing your problems.You got to have the upper hand in friendly jokes,at any costs,even by crassness or loudness.You got to do certain things,probably not because you like them,but because they will make you look more in control of your life.

Why this insecurity?Why not just be comfortable with who you are,and not bothering to be the upper hand or in-control person for once?If you are that good,it surely doesn't matter.Why this apathy to doing some things,or accepting some faults of yours,just because some other person suggested them and not you yourself?Even you don't believe in you,100%.Nobody does,and everybody knows at some point of time that this was a thing he/she screwed up.Yet,denial of that very fact for the fear of accepting weak,projecting yourself in-the-face as stronger and smarter than you know you are,this fake attitude,is one of the most irritating things i have come across.

But then again,i have been contemplating these things for the past several years now.With the exception of certain rare people i have been lucky enough to find,and in rare times,the way of the world doesn't change.Good or bad,Attitude helps.It is your fortress.

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