A cup of life

It is so small a thing
To have enjoyed the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done...

-Matthew Arnold

A leap of faith

Life always has you looking for answers.There's this intrinsic impatience in us all- to get to know the answers to each of our doubts at once,to sort out life exactly the way we want it,to get to know and plan out how we want to spend it.In this race to the so called luxury of knowing everything firsthand,we never even notice how the present slips out right in front of us.Somewhere there is always this person who says,"Hey there!I'm living life as it comes.I do what seems right to me,and i have no regrets!"Wonderful words that have us wishfully thinking all our issues just melted away on the spur.so that we could also develop a likely attitude.I personally,have never been able to relate to that philosophy.There is just too much stuff going on in the mind,and even though being impulsive by nature,I always wanted to know the answers all at once.Recently this realization dawned though-a feeling of being more relaxed,more comfortable with your identity and,well,your life. I ,for one,had always been one of those impatient guys wanting to know the answers to all their problems,to analyse them to the hilt and demand how to tackle them-immediate solutions.Never did it strike me that to have no regrets,as the person around the corner claimed, meant that everything was hunky-dory,and that his life was sorted out by the almighty exactly as he wanted it to be.Nah!You then realise what that person was trying to tell you-that sometimes it is more important to let things be-they will be sorted out at their time-never earlier.Its one day when you stop the incessant hunting for all answers that you discover a newer picture that life tried to show you all along-appreciating the qualities of those close,and having faith in your ability.That day you realise that somehow enjoying the uncanniness of each passing moment is a great feeling in itself.And in the process you somehow naturally stumble upon a newer meaning of backing yourself up-a deeper and more silent confidence of knowing you always were able enough-no external words of motivation or scrutiny could possibly help you discover that.That day,life does seem sorted out.That day,you grow up.And a leap of faith does it all.

All you get from love is a love song

Like sailing on a sailing ship to nowhere
Love took over my heart like an ocean breeze
As seagulls fly I knew that I was losing
Love was washed away with the drifting tide
Oh it's a dirty old shame
When all you get from love is a love song
That's got you laying up nights
Just waiting for the music to start
It's such a dirty old shame
When you got to take the blame for a love song
Because the best love songs are written
With a broken heart
And now the tears in my eyes are ever blinding
The future that lies before me I cannot see
Although tomorrow I know the sun is rising
Lighting up the world for everyone, but not for me.

Bandeya Ho..

Baba Bulleh Shah (a Sufi saint-poet from the Punjab part of Pakistan) was coaxed by his relatives to leave his 'Mursheed' or guru whom he called 'Raiyaan' or 'Raaniya". His Guru, the famous saint Shah Inayat Qadri belonged to the 'Arain' or 'Raeen' caste, while Bulleh Shah belonged to the Syed caste (he was a direct descendant of the Prophet Muhammad). Bulleh Shah had to face the resentment and taunts of his family and other 'Syed' friends for accepting the spiritual guidance of a non-Syed. Bulleh Shah rejected his critics' false concept of inherent superiority and nobility of any caste through his poetry.
A particularly striking song Bandeya Ho of the Pakistani movie Khuda Ke Liye(In the name of God),takes the lyrics of a poem Bulleh Shah wrote as an answer to the society.He explains through this poem that whoever calls him 'Syed' will be punished in hell and who ever calls him 'Raaniya' will be showered with blessings...because for him his Guru is everything and his caste is now the same as his Guru's.
The poem talks of the equality of men,as well as imploring mankind for its preposterious attitude while taking the cover of religion and sanity.The lines,in Siraiki and Punjabi,roughly translated,follow thus:

Bulleh nu samjhawan aiyaan bhena te bharjhaiyaan
Manlay Bulleya sada kehna chad de palla raiyaan
Bulleh Shah's sisters and sisters-in-laws came to convince him. Bulleya, please do as we tell you and leave the Arain's (his guru’s) company.

Aal nabi ullad Nabi nu tu kyun leekaan laaiyaan
Jera sanu syed sadday dozakh milan sazaiyaan
(Bulleh Shah replies):
Why do you separate the Prophet's and Ali's decendants from the common people (why do you wedge a divide between the two)?
The one who calls me ‘Syed’ will go to hell, but the one who calls me ‘Arain’ will enjoy the comforts of heaven

Bandeya Ho Bandeya
Bandeya Ho
Bandeya Ho Bandeya
Bandeya Ho
Imploring mandkind...(Banda means man, while Bandeya refers to Mankind)

Raeen saain sabhan thaain rab diyaan be parwaiyaan
Sohniyaan pare hataiyaan te khoojiyaan lay gall laiyaan
Arain and masters are born at every place, God does not discriminate against anyone.
Beautiful people don't care for such differences, only the ugly ones do

Je tu loorain baag baharaan chaakar hoo ja raiyaan
Bulleh Shah di zaat ki puchni shakar ho razaiyaan
If you seek to the gardens of heaven, become a servant to the ‘Arains’. Why ask about the caste of Bulleh Shah? Instead be grateful in the God's will.

Bandya Ho Bandya
Bandya Ho...
Bandya Ho Bandya
Bandya Ho...

Another awesome Bulleh Shah poem Bulla Ki Jana was made into a song by one of my favourite artists,Rabbi Shergill in his debut album Rabbi.Watch it,the video is a beautiful one too.

Attitude,fortresses and a confused ME.

While "Attitude to life" might have a different and pragmatic meaning in the dictionary of a literary whiz or a philosopher,for a layman,"Attitude" reflects behaviour-social traits et all.I shall be using the A-word here in that context-apologies to all the literally "correct" people out there,for I am an imperfect-not necessarily weak- person, and I just want to dole out a recurring issue,that haunts me every time I get hurt.

Most people maintain a certain attitude,when engaged socially,By all means,this makes them feel and look more confident than they actually are .The behaviour involves projecting oneself as a confident and no-needy person,careful enough to say not a thing which could give the upper hand to the person in front,or make him ridicule you.Again,this involves a lot of mind games at the subconscious level and verbal duels.

The answer i've asked myself again and again is,is it necessary to show this attitude to the ones you say you love too?

The answer,as I have seen from personal experience,is painfully,Yes.Otherwise,you will end up getting hurt,lots and lots of times.Let us summarise the philosophy of most people around me,in slightly less diplomatic terms:

Whether it be close friends,your lover,or anyone else,never lose your dignity.Dignity actually is an overhyped word which,in the urban vocabulary has gained a meaning much more than its dictionarial counterpart,in today's life maintaining your dignity means not changing your principles of living life or your behavioural or social overtones-even if they are wrong.You got to be difficult when someone tries discussing your problems.You got to have the upper hand in friendly jokes,at any costs,even by crassness or loudness.You got to do certain things,probably not because you like them,but because they will make you look more in control of your life.

Why this insecurity?Why not just be comfortable with who you are,and not bothering to be the upper hand or in-control person for once?If you are that good,it surely doesn't matter.Why this apathy to doing some things,or accepting some faults of yours,just because some other person suggested them and not you yourself?Even you don't believe in you,100%.Nobody does,and everybody knows at some point of time that this was a thing he/she screwed up.Yet,denial of that very fact for the fear of accepting weak,projecting yourself in-the-face as stronger and smarter than you know you are,this fake attitude,is one of the most irritating things i have come across.

But then again,i have been contemplating these things for the past several years now.With the exception of certain rare people i have been lucky enough to find,and in rare times,the way of the world doesn't change.Good or bad,Attitude helps.It is your fortress.